i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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