If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize