I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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