all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize