just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
