i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
