Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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