we have officially lost it.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
