garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
