Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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