No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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