I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
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No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs