The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
