p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
