Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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