2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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