I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
