youre lurking in front of me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
