My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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