I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
