I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
