She is in my trunk
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
