Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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