Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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