Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I think my moral compass just broke
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
