who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
