guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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