doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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