I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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