Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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