Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize