Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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