hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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