some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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