if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
