So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
