I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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