We're facebook friends in real life
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
