So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
