we're blogging at a bar
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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