Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish you could order shots online.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
