there's paper in my vomit.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
