We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize