Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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