Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
