I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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