I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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