She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
