I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize