using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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