Small penises have feelings too.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
