im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
