This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
