I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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