I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
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