member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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