Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
