He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
