New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
