My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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