they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
