Already got asked if we're dating
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
