dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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